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“I SEE YOU”-How
you can change the world you see
Every day we walk past people or look at ourselves in the
mirror, yet are we just looking or are we really seeing?
The movie Avatar was the seed for this article. One of the
phrases that really kept on playing in my mind was the characters’
special respectful greeting: “I see you”.
For me, this means “allowing to be.”
We physically see each other, our loved ones, our colleagues,
clients, strangers, but perhaps we need to look deeper. What
will this deeper level of “seeing” mean for ourselves
and others?
The increasingly changing world has heralded the end of clever
scripts, cold strategy, academic theories, and tradition for
the sake of tradition. We will have to learn the powers of
true observation and intuition to be able to respond fluidly
in every situation.
Do you really “see” yourself?
- Spend 15 minutes just looking at your own face as if
it is the first time you are seeing yourself, as if you
are meeting a stranger, what do you notice?
- We can only pay the quality of attention to others that
we pay to ourselves.
- Do you see yourself with all your possibilities, and
made peace or even giggled about your own eccentricities?
- Do you treat yourself the same way as you would a special
friend?
- Do people know your boundaries? Are you open to your
boundaries being challenged?
- Have you surprised yourself in the last year by acting
in a way that you didn’t expect from yourself?
What does it mean to “see” others?
-
For me this means seeing much more
in any one I meet, than meets the eye.
-
That I never go on first impressions
and that every one has so many parts of their persona
to share, (and keep my projected judgments to myself.)
-
I try to meet people with a “child’s
mind” and open perceptions, and seeing different
viewpoints as fun or stimulating instead of threatening.
-
To just observe…and not react
according to social scripts and understand that your response
to people tells you more about yourself than about them.
-
Allow others to surprise you! When
we label people, they tend to become the content of the
label we stick on the bottle, and then we frown when the
content is bitter?
-
This “seeing you” can
be supportive and caring, or it may mean that I will challenge
your boundaries.
-
Be what others need you to be in the
moment. Ask questions and be scarce with advice as most
people know what they need to do, it is just easier if
someone else takes the responsibility.
-
Don’t be arrogant, your path
is not another’s path and never assume you know
how some one is feeling. When we feel the need to interfere
in some one’s life, we are not seeing them, we are
enforcing our own scripts on them.
-
It means really listening to what
your client is saying, your supplier, your networking
partner, without your own wants always close by. Seeing
others also means listening to what is not being said.
As we see more of others, we can also make ourselves
more visible as we reflect each other on constant basis. As
we experience more of ourselves through others, we can appreciate
the diversity more…
How do we improve our seeing? I can only
share the things I have tried:
- By stimulating our senses with new sounds, tastes,
environments, meeting new people, (not just being surrounded
by a group of mini me’s).
- A very valuable exercise a writing coach gave me ,
was to do one thing a week I always wanted to, but also
one thing that I think I wouldn’t like and see what
I learn through that experience.
- Having more pleasure! The more relaxed we are, the
better we can “see”, it clears the fog of
stress, judgment or bitterness from our “glasses”
of perception.
- Always question your perceptions. (Are you sure these
perceptions are yours and not imposed by your parents,
peers or groups you belong to?) Learn more about different
views and lifestyles. You can explore an idea without
making it your own.
- By letting others “see” more of us. It
is often a reciprocal action, if your vulnerability or
honesty let others freeze up, that is their issue.
- Listening 80% and talking 20% in a conversation.
- Ultimately live with ambiguity, as you will see the
opposites in others and in yourself, celebrate it!
These are my reflections…
What does “I see you” mean to
you and how do you work on your “seeing”…?
Let me know
“I see you, and wish to learn
to “see” you even better”
Have a look
at the business coaching / life coaching categories on my
site to see more.
Christa
christa@breakthrough.za.com
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